Archive for the 'News' Category

Safeway makes delicious sandwiches

Dear Mr. McAwesome:  We received your e-mail requesting we update the information on your club card account.  Your account has been reviewed and the changes you requested could not be made using the information you provided.  In order to complete your request, I will need additional information from you.  This is due to our privacy policy in place to protect your personal information.  I apologize for any inconvenience.  Please provide as much of the following information as possible:   Safeway store location: Date or approximate amount of a recent transaction:  Thank you for your patience.  If you have any additional questions please feel free to reply to my e-mail, or contact our customer service center at 1-877-723-3929 and reference contact id xxxxxx.  One of our associates will be happy to assist you.  Thank you for continuing to shop at Safeway.  Sincerely,  The Safeway Customer Service Team

Servicing Customers one email at a time!

Why, certainly!

Dear Customer Service Team, Thank you for extending me the courtesy of sending me your privacy notice!  Here is the information you so kindly requested: My last transaction with you was at your very fine Safeway Grocery, Cafe Deli, and Shopping establishment at 298 King Street in San Francisco, California. In fact, it was just today, Monday, August 2nd, 2010, around 1:15pm that I visited your store to fullfil my lunch time nutritional needs! Your highly professional (and handsomely dressed) checkout staff completed my $4.99 transaction with accuracy and speed.  I sincerely hope that our professional relationship does not preclude further correspondence.  Cordially yours, Guy Aengus Ramsay McAwesome, Jr.  p.s. The sandwich was delicious!

The sandwich was delicious!

AT&T Servers asplode

Trying to preorder a iPhone4 upgrade but AT&T servers are smoldering hole in the ground. You’d think they’d figure this shit out.

Next Solar Eclipse: 2012

Here in California, we’re going to have a near total solar eclipse on May 20, 2012! Start planning your parties!

$5000 Carwash!

Some of you may know, I recently traded in my venerable 1997 Honda Civic Ex for a 2006 Acura RSX Type S. In 2005, I paid $6500 for the Civic in like-used condition. In 2010, I haggled up the trade in price from $1200 to $1900 (~$2200 KBB trade value). Not having to sell it was worth at least $300 to me.

Now, assuming they took out all the dents, dings, scratches, touched up the paint, changed the oil, and fixed the 12V plug, the KBB value is ~$2700. It has 4 relatively new (under warranty) tires and low mileage for a 13 year old car. Well, it’s your lucky day because now you can own my very own Civic for the low price of $6991! Yep, that’s a $5000 detail car wash! Man, that $5000 car wash looks good. Maybe it’s the “performance” floor mats.

Peformance Floor Mats!

Peformance Floor Mats!

But hey, if you’re a high school kid and you’re looking for a car, this could be the right bargain for you (assuming you can haggle them down to $3000). All factory parts and no accidents, a clean slate!

Happy 2010!

Happy New Year